I want to write about an experience I had which strengthened my testimony of fasting. One Sunday a few weeks ago, I fasted to have a greater sensitivity to missionary opportunities and the courage to take advantage of them. The next day, I definitely noticed the difference. I was at work with my coworkers Janet (who is a member of the church) and Rick (who isn't). Yes, I changed the names. Out of the blue, Rick randomly started talking about how he thought it was unfair that Mormon missionaries should have to pay for their own missions. He said a few other things, and in the course of this discussion he found out that I was soon leaving for a mission (and I found out that he didn't know that previously). He didn't apologize for what he said, but he stopped talking badly about the prospect of a mission. I found out that he had been LDS and had entertained the possibility of going on a mission (however briefly) long ago. He still goes to church (whether LDS or not, I'm not sure). I also overheard Rebecca mention to Sam that she knew he wasn't LDS, which I didn't know before, either.
On the way home from work, I evaluated my relationship with every one of my coworkers, their relationship with religion/the gospel, and possible ways I could share the gospel with them. While doing this, I realized just how blessed I was to have my eyes opened to their situations. Rick's random mentioning of a mission was completely unexpected, and I doubt that it would have happened if I didn't fast for it. I saw a difference in myself of a heightened spiritual awareness of who these people were and how I could help them.
I decided that it's not enough just for everyone to know that I am a Mormon. I want to be more than just a good example or the guy that his coworkers don't swear around. I'm going to be a full-time missionary in a little over a month (at the time I wrote this), and it's time I start acting like it. God doesn't want me to be just a good example, a good worker, or a good all-around person. Being good people isn't what sets us apart from the rest of the world. Being hard workers isn't what makes us the unique, "peculiar people" described in the Bible. There are many Mormons who are not good people or hard workers, and vice versa. What really makes us different is our love for Jesus Christ, His Atonement, God's plan of happiness, and (most importantly) the gospel restored by Joseph Smith to this earth with all its teachings, ordinances, and priesthoods. There's a popular saying in the church that goes something like this: "You may be the only scriptures some people ever read, the only church some people go to, the only connection some people have with God". Well, that's all fine and good, but why not take it a step further? Why not show them the real scriptures, the real church, the real God clear as crystal instead of through the clouded and imperfect lens of your own human nature? As Brother Christiansen would say in his mission prep class, "You're just a stupid 19-year-old. Why should anyone believe you?"
Real missionary work isn't just being the kind of person that nonmembers or inactive members want to be like, because that does almost nothing in the way of conversion (although sometimes that's all you can do). Even if we have role models that we view as respectable, honorable people, they are still imperfect and can fail us. Almost anything or anyone can fail us, except for three holy Beings. We call them the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Those are the things that change us. And unless you access the testimony-bearing powers of the Holy Ghost through scripture, service, love, testimony, or any other method, you won't change anything or anyone. And if being a good example is all you can do, let it be in the name of Christ, not to satisfy your own pride or desires. But if you have the opportunity to take your missionary work a step higher, DO IT. The more direct connection they can have with God, the better. The less there is of you, the better. You are only an instrument to lead people to God, because without Him, you are nothing. Worthless. Dead. But if we align our will with His and work with Him to bring others into the church, that is when missionary work truly happens. That is true conversion.
People don't change hearts. God changes hearts.
So can't we just get out of the way and let Him in?
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